My late mom would say every day is mother’s day every Mother’s Day. I used to laugh and say I do not know why there is such a day.
Now that I am a mom, I understand why a good, trying mother and/or good, trying mother figure need a special day to be celebrated more.
Lonely road
Motherhood can be lonely with little to no support system. It is easy to lose yourself and go into depression once you deliver.
You go home with a stranger that is fully dependent on you for everything.
You must connect with the baby despite all your pain and trauma from delivery. The sleepless nights could drive you insane. Lack of rest and little to no time for yourself can be troubling.
You are barely able to eat properly and do not ask about taking a proper shower or poop.
You rush everything you have to do for yourself. It feels like all you do is breastfeed, express, clean bottles, wash clothes, clean poop and vomit and rock and sing the demanding baby to bed.
Exhausting
A baby is like a parasite that sucks you dry. You need to be ready mentally, physically, financially, socially and emotionally to have a baby and give it your everything.
Motherhood is exhausting. You constantly worry about the wellbeing of your child. You worry about whether they will ever be tortured, treated badly by those you trust or even molested.
You wonder if they will be okay if you die before they are able to care for themselves.
You cry constantly, feel happy and sad, sometimes get upset at everything for no reason and have mood swings.
Many roles in one
You juggle multiple roles as you care for the baby. You care for the household by cleaning and cooking and care for your partner and attend to his needs whilst barely getting rest, eating and taking care of yourself.
Even when you are encouraged to rest and not do chores, you feel guilty so do it anyways. You feel a form of burnout.
You feel isolated if family and friends do not reach out. You feel embarrassed to talk about how down you feel.
Sometimes you get tired of the baby and need a break but you snap out of the feeling immediately because you do not want to be away from your baby.
You then feel guilty for having such thoughts. Motherhood brings out emotions you did not know you had.
Oh boy
You do not recognize yourself and feel like you have lost your identity. Motherhood means you no longer get to do what you love, at least not for a while.
Your body changes, you do not feel sexy anymore, you feel unattractive with the saggy breasts, big belly months after delivery, change in skin tone, stretch marks and weight gain.
You do not feel like yourself.
Some days you cannot eat, pee, bathe or do anything until someone relieves you because the baby only wants to stay on you and screams when placed down especially when they are not well.
Sometimes you feel weak after the baby wakes up multiple times at night. You fall asleep with the baby in your arms and wonder if you will drop the baby to the fall if you go into a deep sleep.
Even when the baby sleeps for hours, you cannot because you are constantly checking to see if they are breathing and okay
Proud with tears
Motherhood drains you but the smiles, babbling, hugs and tiny hands tapping your face make it worth it.
Be you a bit
Do things outside of being a mom. Seek help and counseling if your daily activities are being affected because postpartum depression is real.
Every milestone has its own challenge but with time, caring for the baby gets easier. Enjoy your miracle daily!
Reems Sonson
Our Tropical Living
Come live and love island life
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Even if I tried I would not be able to add anything to such a detailed explanation of what motherhood is like.
I wish for the sake of all.mums that the length of maternity leave would be increased, support groups would be available, play groups in various communities or districts to Foster greater bonds..so mother know that there I n outlet to go to that they are not alone.
It’s so easy after delivery for the mother to be forgotten, for the focus to be placed on the newborn, its a time when the mother really needs as much assistance as she can receive, a cooked meal, a hand with chores, even just a check in occasionally to assit in whatever way possible. Beautifully written piece.
Motherhood is indeed a challenge
You are so right. Mothers need a community to help them after delivery. A lot of support is needed. Sometimes, we need to speak to someone just so they can listen and other times, we need someone who can relate to what we go through. I am surprised by how quickly the mother is forgotten after delivery. Person’s no longer ask how you are doing. Everything becomes about the baby. Thank you for your comment. I appreciate it.