Lively struggles
Growing up, I was raised in a one bedroom house with my two siblings and mom in a rural community. A farmer by profession, my mother worked tirelessly to provide for her household. I loved summer vacation, no school so the weekdays were filled with crossing rivers, eating pure cocoa, sweating from the rays of the sun and going to the heights to cultivate crops.
Sometimes on the way back from the long journey with heavy load on her head, my mom would agree to station by the river for a quick bath.
River life included eating mangoes, guavas and ripe bananas, golden river bank and dark green water. I enjoyed watching my brother somersault in the basen (a deep part in the river). Farm life was taking long, fun and adventurous walks for me but serious labour for my mom.
Every Saturday my mom would be up by 2 a.m. to box her produce and make it in time to board the flat van to head to the local market in the city of Castries to sell her harvests.
Perseverance
I recall a Friday afternoon after our field trip from the hills seeing my mom being racked to a side as the river bank gave way causing her to slip and twist her ankle. She was barely able to walk and within seconds, her affected limb became edematous.
As frightened as we all were my siblings sought assistance from passers-by. Determined to generate revenue for the family, the routine continued and my mom went to the market.
By night fall that Saturday, upon returning from performing her duties, my mom was unable to walk nor leave her affected foot to the ground. She had to be assisted to the house.
Boy how much I cried seeing my mom bear her pain and working to ensure she provided for the family, I was plainly heart broken. Years after that injury, my mom’s ankle still becomes edematous and painful with prolonged standing. Like she would say, it becomes as huge as a “bandja” (yam).
Commitment
I have not seen anyone work as hard as my mom. She works in the harsh weather conditions both rain and sun. Sometimes bearing brittle produce and other times having no harvest at all when all the crops die. Most times she has to burn the wild grass and clear the field so it entails lots of manual labour.
Ensuring that her children went to every school activity, had all their books, food to eat and a good shelter kept my mom going. We had little but had each other, comfort and a home.
I remember the disappointment in my mom’s eyes when I harshly told her that I was disappointed that she became a farmer when I applied to St George’s School of Medicine in Grenada. I was asked my parents income and occupation and for the first time felt embarrassed to indicate that my mom was a farmer and hardly had an income.
Now I am thankful that my mom is a farmer and fully understand the importance of farming and its’ many benefits in stress reduction and longevity.
Self-sacrifice
My precious mom has been there for me always. Staying at my bedside after my surgery at twelve years old. She has always taken a step back, placed her children first and cared for them instead of herself.
Even after being bitten by a centipede near the house, she tied her swollen hand and rubbed it with soft candle but she refused to stop works in her garden.
My mom refused to live nor work abroad and insisted that she would not leave her kids for someone else to raise. Words of encouragement were certain as she enforced the importance of school and instilled the morals and values to ensure that we were effective members in society.
My mom abandoned her garden “one of her favourite things in the world” and stayed home to care for her grandchildren. Family comes first in all things so the decision to be a babysitter was natural and genuine.
Even as an adult, my mom still allows me to share but most times keep her personal items, prepares my meals and washes my clothes. Although she rarely uttered the words “I love you” it is shown in her every action. She is the true definition of mother.
Beneficence and autonomy are embedded in me from the comfort, discipline and hard work my mom implanted. She did not complain about our situation but continued to work hard and be hopeful.
Unanticipated illness
My mom suddenly fell ill in 2013 and spent nearly three weeks at the main hospital in the country where she underwent surgery. Within two days to my surprise my mom had generalize edema, audible crackers on each inspiration and was in a bedridden state.
My heart shattered seeing her with lids and tubes all over her body and knowing that there was nothing I could do to get her better. With fear of losing my mom, I cried myself to sleep every night yet she was cheerful although quiet with each visit.
Although bedridden, she kept her strong willed attitude and did as much as she could for herself. God brought my mom back to good health so I can appreciate her even more, so she can enjoy life, reap the benefits of her hard work and sacrifice and to continue her faith and prayer.
Hostility
Some parents refuse to realize that their children’s behavior is as a direct result of their bad parenting and from being more of a friend than a parent. All facilities were outdoors in the one bedroom house where I grew up. I grew up to using a pit toilet (pit latrine) for elimination needs.
The pit latrine which is a hole in the ground to collect faeces and urine was commonly used before invention of the flushing toilet. Seeing my mom’s daily struggles and the dilapidated structure we lived in gave me the drive to excel academically.
Although one community member began spreading the propaganda that I was a boutin (meaning that my mom intentionally gave me the incorrect father), we lived in a close knit neighbourhood. However, when my sister and I began tertiary education everything changed.
Despite still living in a rundown house, the neighbours became envious and started calling my mom gaje (to mean she practices witchcraft).
It took some time for renovations to begin but my mom now has a cozy cottage (small but comfortable). Most individuals in the vicinity have unfriended the family, say my mom is enragée (greedy) and benyen vis (full of tricks, vicious).
Lucians love having arguments in creole to have more of an effect so we were constantly struck with pawòl (chats). During a disagreement, in an attempt to insult my mom a teenage boy said “ou sati fig” meaning that she was smelling of banana because he knew that she was a farmer.
Some neighbours insist that they see turtles and “take a ole smell” in their yard because they claim my mom is involved in obeah (sorcery). Others believe that my mom affected their children’s ability to learn and get a job, put evil in their yard to cause family disputes and if someone passes in her yard then they will be turned into a stray dog.
Step up
Refrain from being envious of others, do not act like you do not know their struggles or that you are better than them. Do not forget what others have done for you. Do some reflection, do not forget your parents, remember who you are, where you came from and who got you to your current destination.
Stop using mother’s day as the time to deceitfully appreciate mom’s only to forget about them and have little to no relationship with them for the rest of the year. Appreciate everyone whilst they are here and alive.
Blessings from above
I continuously inform my mom that her blessings are only now beginning, the best is yet to come and only God can dictate her path. Long life, continued health, happiness, success, great family support, faith, hope and prayer to you mommy. With tears I say I love you for everything, you are my best friend, my mom, support, hope, miracle and gift from above.
You taught me how to be outspoken, brave, seek what I desire, walk for what I want since you said it would not just come to me and I see you in me. You guided me, ensured that I had a life better than what you knew and that I was a better version of you.
Common Lucian characteristics
Sundays for most are church, dress up and Sunday food days (macaroni and cheese or a pie made with cheese, different types of meat, salad, rice, peas or beans with ground provisions)
Most Lucians make their own hot sauce (hot pepper) and gravy browning
If you are sick, be sure to get rubbed with a fixsyon (usually a homemade ointment rubbed to the body)
Be sure to get a kalòt (a blow behind the head either with the fingers or knuckle) if you are misbehaving or making fun of something
Must get takeaways from events and funerals to carry home
Grow up hearing adults tell you to “take the thing for me”
Always making local juice, bakes, dahls or cooking
Having a television stand with ornaments or stuffed animals
Individuals usually come to your home to borrow something
Somebody in the family was raised sitting behind a flat van during commute
Everyone knows what is Clorox
Individuals living in the village know each other’s business due to the close proximity of the houses
Lastly, someone shouted at you or gave you a good beating as a child
Type one fun fact you know about Lucians, e.g #fun fact Lucians like people business
This blog post was written in September 2019 so that it could be posted at the end of May 2020 to celebrate Mother’s day. Sadly, my mom passed away on 18th May, 2020.
Reems
Our Tropical Living
Come live and love island life