High standards, high maintenance or high expectations? Low standards, low maintenance or low expectations? Where do you fall and what do you expect from a relationship or friendship?
Our society encourages us to be independent that being reliant on someone seems to be a blur. You question whether you are asking too much or expecting too little.
Bare minimum
Ever went all out for people without them asking but they could not do the bare minimum for you?
You go all out for someone, treat them special, go above and beyond, exceed their expectations yet they treat you crappy and show no gratitude. You put the utmost amount of energy in whatever you do for them yet they barely recognize what you do.
They do the bare minimum for you and you see little to no effort in what they do. They treat you like an ordinary person.
You get the bare minimum of their time, commitment, emotions and effort. They offer the least amount of themselves but just enough to keep you interested.
Sometimes they do something nice and although it was required of them to do, you loved it and were overjoyed because you felt like it was a grand gesture.
You applaud a gesture that was standard and mandatory.
Interestingly, they do things with the smallest effort but do not display any bad behavior which warrants a breakup.
50-50 rule?
Do you believe in the 50-50 rule where both parties try equally in a relationship or friendship? Or do you believe that both parties need to put in more effort than each other?
Half love
Should you compromise? Should you know each other’s needs and attempt to meet some? Should you continuously try together to make things work?
Sometimes the bare minimum is acceptable and serves its purpose depending on the relationship and connection. Other times, it is not enough and should not be tolerated.
Sometimes you settle for less than what you want and you accept the bare minimum out of fear of being alone and not knowing your worth.
You get used to the bare minimum that you make excuses.
Should you wait on someone and hope that they will eventually get there, be ready and stop giving the bare minimum?
Giving maximum
You deserve someone who is all in and puts in as much effort as you do. If you give up on putting in all the effort then what is going to happen to the friendship or relationship.
Sometimes you feel undervalued and underappreciated because you know what you want, know your worth and crave more.
You resent people for how they treat you because you feel you deserve better and people’s maximum effort but you say nothing.
Truth is, you deserve growth. Someone who gives the bare minimum may not change. You will spend your entire time begging them for the basics and eventually you will get tired.
Imagine
If you go all out for people and they treat you like mediocre, imagine the lengths you will go for the people who value, appreciate and truly love you.
Some people string you along to use you and you allow your emotions to get tangled in their web. Be on the lookout!
Someone with no plan lacks direction and might end up living someone else’s life because they set no standards by which they should live. Do not let them drag you along!
Some people just show up and do nothing else, they make no plans for you and initiate nothing. They are not as invested in you as you are in them.
Sometimes you have to offer the least part of yourself to people who do not try. Rather, invest your energy into people who show effort without you even having to ask.
Fact is that there are people who do the bare minimum and give you the leftovers of what they have.
There are also people who surprise you and go above and beyond. Which are you and which do you prefer?
Call it high maintenance but it is just that you expect more than what some people are used to giving. Do not lower your standards but let them up their game!
Reems Sonson
Our Tropical Living
Come live and love island life
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