Have you ever been abused or attacked by a woman?
Women are constantly depicted as the gender most affected by violence. What about men? Are men being abused by women?
What is abuse?
Abuse is any action done to intentionally harm or injure another person. Abuse comes in many forms and can be physical, emotional, economic, verbal, sexual and psychological.
Men are victims too
Men too are victims of abuse.
Many may not know that men are victims of abuse because men do not like to verbalize their emotions nor how exactly people affect or treat them.
Men commonly go through domestic violence which is also known as domestic abuse.
Domestic abuse is not only physical violence. Having a controlling or manipulative partner affects men both psychologically, economically and emotionally.
Men suffer significant psychological and emotional abuse behind closed doors.
Men go through verbal abuse daily which makes them feel less of a person and reduces their self-worth and dignity.
Ever experienced these?
Abused men are afraid of their partners, walk on eggshells and are eager to please their partners. These men go along with everything their partner says and does and constantly defend their partners.
Some men check in with their partners frequently to report where they are when they go out, who they are with and what they are doing.
Their partner becomes aggressive if they do not call or message frequently or send pictures of their location.
Women as aggressors
Some women yell and scream at their partners or always throw a tantrum. These women exaggerate events, make threats and insult and demean men.
They socially isolate men, lie, cheat and withhold information from the men.
A common characteristic is to treat men like a child or a servant. Some women thrive on controlling all of men’s finances.
Some women act like men are not sensitive and say whatever they want to the men especially if the men do not cry, complain or show emotions.
Other women threaten to kill themselves or take the children and leave to make men feel bad.
Sometimes women play mind games, blame men, make them feel guilty and withhold affection and sex.
Not so innocent women
Women can punish men in non-physical ways and stalk them.
Some women intentionally abuse men because they know the men would not report the abuse and may feel embarrassed to discuss it.
Some women hide men’s personal belongings, hit, kick, bite, spit and throw things at them or destroy their possessions.
They use hurtful words to control men. These women strike men with objects or attack them when they sleep at nights especially if they believe that the men would not fight back.
Some women constantly monitor their partner’s social media, calls and texts and get angry and jealous when their partner speaks to women.
Women tend to make false allegations and tarnish men’s reputation. The common saying is, “I have him wrapped around my fingers.”
Gender stereotype
Gender stereotypes exist, people think men are more aggressive and physically dominant so cannot be abused.
Abused men do not see themselves as victims. There is stigma attached to men who report abuse.
The abuse on men can go unnoticed, can be severe and create long lasting psychological problems.
The abuse may make men become abusers in their next relationship, get numb and have no desire to commit.
Abuse sustained for a prolonged period may also cause trauma and health problems for men.
Men may feel alone, isolated and like they have no one to turn to. They may feel like no one will believe them so they rather remain silent about the abuse.
Some men want to leave the relationship but rather stay to work things out and do anything their partner wants because they love their partner.
Do you know a man in an abusive relationship? How will you help them get out?
Reems Sonson
Our Tropical Living
Come live and love island life
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