Postpartum and solo parenting

I used to watch babies and catch baby fever because I was mesmerized by how chunky and cute they were. I did not know the dark side of it all.

Loner for the while

I spent a year caring for my baby alone since my partner was away. Boy was it challenging.

I do not know how I did it but I know it was all God’s doing.

I thank God daily that He granted me strength, health and the ability to care for myself and my baby.

Niceness to the naked eyes

People do not see the late nights with your baby.

Or the times when you get zero to two hours of sleep or hourly wake ups because the baby is sick and fussy.

What makes it worse is going to work the very day.

Depression lurking

Many times, I found myself crying, sad and ready to snap at others. I felt so alone and lonely.

I felt like a single mother. How do you guys do it?

Why did I feel this way?

I thought I had a mental problem because of my thoughts and how I felt. I constantly reminded myself that I should not lose myself nor my mind.

No zeal

Other than caring for my baby and forcing myself to go to work, I had no space to do anything else. I was stressed and did not have the mental capacity.

Everything irritated me at times. I had frequent headaches and felt drunk and like a zombie. Was it lack of sleep and rest, being burned out, bad eating or a combination?

I felt like I was going and going; working the whole week, going to church then spending the balance of the time doing chores, all by myself.

I was drowning. It was a lot of pressure on me.

Big adjustment

From sleeping 8 hours a night without interruptions to taking care of a mini- you without help is not for the weak. 

I was suffering silently. Thank God my friend- Janel and sister-in-law- Zhan regularly checked in and I was able to relay my feelings to them without being judged.

We would share our stories openly and laugh loudly. They really cheered me up and made me feel like I was not alone and had no need to blame myself for my thoughts on motherhood.

I had no village to help because they were either living too far, had their own family to care for or living overseas. I had to fend for myself and suffer alone.

Despite being miles away, my partner tried his best to cheer me up.

Faded connections

Amidst my struggles, the closeness I had with many good friends faded because I felt that they were absent when I needed a shoulder to cry on.

This is expected but my advice to others, do not put your burden on others and expect them to run to your rescue because they most likely are dealing with their own.

You are not alone

If you are struggling with motherhood, reach out to someone you trust for help. Get a support group to share your feelings or seek counseling. Postpartum depression is real and creeps in without you noticing.

Reems Sonson

Our Tropical Living

Come live and love island life

If you would like to receive an update when I post something new, you could subscribe to my blog by adding your email address to the subscription bar then confirming the subscription in your email.

Subscribe to my YouTube channel

Follow me on Instagram

https://instagram.com/reemssonson

Follow and like my page on Facebook

https://facebook.com/ourtropicalliving

This is not a paid or sponsored blog post.