Have you ever been abused or attacked by a woman?
Women are constantly depicted as the gender most affected by violence. What about men? Are men being abused by women?
What is abuse?
Abuse is any action done to intentionally harm or injure another person. Abuse comes in many forms and can be physical, emotional, economic, verbal, sexual and psychological.
Men are victims too
Men too are victims of abuse.
Many may not know that men are victims of abuse because men do not like to verbalize their emotions nor how exactly people affect or treat them.
Men commonly go through domestic violence which is also known as domestic abuse.
Domestic abuse is not only physical violence. Having a controlling or manipulative partner affects men both psychologically, economically and emotionally.
Men suffer significant psychological and emotional abuse behind closed doors.
Men go through verbal abuse daily which makes them feel less of a person and reduces their self-worth and dignity.
Ever experienced these?
Abused men are afraid of their partners, walk on eggshells and are eager to please their partners. These men go along with everything their partner says and does and constantly defend their partners.
Some men check in with their partners frequently to report where they are when they go out, who they are with and what they are doing.
Their partner becomes aggressive if they do not call or message frequently or send pictures of their location.
Women as aggressors
Some women yell and scream at their partners or always throw a tantrum. These women exaggerate events, make threats and insult and demean men.
They socially isolate men, lie, cheat and withhold information from the men.
A common characteristic is to treat men like a child or a servant. Some women thrive on controlling all of men’s finances.
Some women act like men are not sensitive and say whatever they want to the men especially if the men do not cry, complain or show emotions.
Other women threaten to kill themselves or take the children and leave to make men feel bad.
Sometimes women play mind games, blame men, make them feel guilty and withhold affection and sex.
Not so innocent women
Women can punish men in non-physical ways and stalk them.
Some women intentionally abuse men because they know the men would not report the abuse and may feel embarrassed to discuss it.
Some women hide men’s personal belongings, hit, kick, bite, spit and throw things at them or destroy their possessions.
They use hurtful words to control men. These women strike men with objects or attack them when they sleep at nights especially if they believe that the men would not fight back.
Some women constantly monitor their partner’s social media, calls and texts and get angry and jealous when their partner speaks to women.
Women tend to make false allegations and tarnish men’s reputation. The common saying is, “I have him wrapped around my fingers.”
Gender stereotype
Gender stereotypes exist, people think men are more aggressive and physically dominant so cannot be abused.
Abused men do not see themselves as victims. There is stigma attached to men who report abuse.
The abuse on men can go unnoticed, can be severe and create long lasting psychological problems.
The abuse may make men become abusers in their next relationship, get numb and have no desire to commit.
Abuse sustained for a prolonged period may also cause trauma and health problems for men.
Men may feel alone, isolated and like they have no one to turn to. They may feel like no one will believe them so they rather remain silent about the abuse.
Some men want to leave the relationship but rather stay to work things out and do anything their partner wants because they love their partner.
Do you know a man in an abusive relationship? How will you help them get out?
Reems Sonson
Our Tropical Living
Come live and love island life
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Ms. Reems. Timely topic. Keep up the good works.
Thank you Dan! Much appreciated!
Hey, Are you a Dennery gal? If you are, you need to consider writing some topics about your constituency. Y’all Trendsetters for sure. Y’all are little different. I just saw the unveiling of the freedom fighter from that area. That was very Interesting. The government is introducing patois to the schools. That’s Dope shit. 👏👏👏 . I wish they did that when I attending Castries Comprehensive. I can understand creole but can barely speak. That’s a shame. I guess my parents thought that was cute not to teach me and my siblings . 😞
Yes I am from Dennery Dan. What other topics do you think I should discuss? Oh oh, it is a shame indeed that you can barely speak Patois. You should learn how to do so.
First off, Trust your judgment. You been doing great so far. But since you asked, highlighting Dennery’s local traditions is great. Your musicians, fishing transition, Sportspersons etc. are all interesting topic. Interview your constituency representative concerning ideas to uplift the area. Have you heard about the new tourism initiative “ Kabawe Khawl . It’s a promotion to encourage locals to open more bars in the town and villages. Also, “You can begin a “ Did you know? Segment. Here is a thought provoking Topic- St. Lucia carnival and morals . ( Some of these local and regional folks has no shame) I believe at a certain point the government will have to regulate. I believe Barbados is trying to clean things up. I am no saint, but some of the sexual explicit acts portrayed on the streets need to be done at your house, not in full view of the public. What about the churches, the old folks, the young kids, ……..what do they think?
No since you said I need to consider writing topics about my constituency I asked Dan. I used to write a lot about Saint Lucia, places to go, things to do and it’s history but it does not seem like my audience are that interested in it. I branched out and started writing according to their demands. Thank you for saying I have been doing great so far. It is interesting that you make such relevant points highlighting what is happening in Saint Lucia. Most Saint Lucians prefer bad or negative news instead of positive ones. Saint Lucians rarely support their own as they tend to prefer and support outsiders. Government officials are quicker to recognize locals only after they have received international recognition. I started writing about Saint Lucia but I barely do now because it is demotivating so excuse me.
No worries. Go where your audience want you to go. I will be reading your writing any way. Keep us guessing. I think you are correct. I see everyone is jumping on Julien Alfred bandwagon after she start winning. Hey, That’s our people for you. Take care.
Thank you for the support. I appreciate it. Yes that is our culture. Take care as well. Thank you for the discussion!