Ever got to a point where you wanted more from your partner and relationship?
If you’re the one, then he makes all the necessary adjustments to keep you!
The harsh reality some women face is being with men who are not ready for what they want and have to offer. That can range from being in a relationship, moving in together, building together, getting married and having children.
Basic things like coming together to discuss finances, making plans, deciding who will pay what bill or alternate the bill when buying the groceries.
Ever tried discussing the next step in the relationship with your guy and he ignored you, changed the topic or changed his mood?
Where does it start?
Some men pursue women until they get them and say all the things women want to hear. It is almost like being fooled into consenting to the relationship. You go in thinking, finally, someone I can relate to!
Overtime, as you develop deep feelings, you see that person as being the one you settle down with. They agree that they want to settle down but after a while change their mind. What are you supposed to do?
Imagine getting extremely excited that you both want the same thing and are on the same page. Then boom, somewhere in between, he changed his mind. Now you both want different things!
If you had no intentions of settling down and know that you are not ready, then, what is the point of luring someone into being in a relationship with you?
Wait on him? Walk away?
Is it worth remaining in a relationship just for a man to wake up one day, finally be ready and decide to commit to you?
Some women invest their all into men who are not ready and decide to wait on them. Sometimes it works out well! Congratulations!
Others wait and the men never get ready or the men leave to be with someone else only to do all the things they said they were not ready to do.
For how long will you wait and at what price and whose expense?
Fact is, when a man finally decides to be ready and settle down, you might not be the one he chooses. He might no longer be in love with you nor desire you. Some men might choose you by default because you have been there or because they have no one better to choose.
Why he might not be ready?
Some men are still trying to figure themselves out, are not where they want to be financially and do not want the responsibility attached to commitment.
Some are uncertain whether you are the one they want to spend the rest of their lives with and might hold on to you until they get the next best thing.
Others might be waiting on illness, sudden injury, when they become decapitated or have little to no opportunity to chase someone else. Past experiences and using other people’s experiences and making it be their own or going based on statistics can also be contributing factors.
His mother
A mother’s advice or advice from a loved one can be a big reason a man might not be ready nor want to commit.
Some mothers do not want their sons to settle down because they prefer that they stay at home with them. They rather for their son to remain single or find someone else instead of encouraging them to commit to you.
Investing the time
Life is so short to invest your time into something that is going nowhere and is remaining stagnant because of one person. The longer you wait on someone to figure themselves out, the longer you will miss out on being happy with someone else.
Also, the longer you will miss out on being with someone else who has no problem building with you, wants to settle with you, knows what they are about and is ready.
Whilst it is true that you do not know what character you will encounter or the treatment you will receive on your quest to find someone who is ready. You should be hopeful and optimistic that everything will work in your favor.
Genuine desire
Two people should genuinely want to settle down with each other. It should not be anything forced.
Some women give men ultimatums instead of waiting or walking away. Some men gladly accept the ultimatum, are okay with it and others although they accepted, later resent the women.
Men are fixers
A man tries to fix things, discuss things and see how you both can make the relationship work so you both can move on together. A man that wants to be with you will do whatever it takes without you having to beg.
Have a problem that you constantly mention but he ignores you, brushes you off or offers no solution? Then, he is not ready to face nor fix the problem. Men try to fix things so women can stop talking about it. All men can change but some change for the woman they really want.
Be concise in your asking
Be direct and clear about what you want because it is your life. Ensure that he knows what you want so there can be no miscommunication or misunderstanding in the future.
The right man will want to discuss things, see how you both can make sacrifices and fix things so it can work.
Some men in hopes of trying to keep you will one time agree to what you want then later change their mind. It is a constant mind game. You sense the doubt and have that gut feeling that things will not be okay but you stay because he is a good guy.
Listen attentively
Women get stuck because they do not listen when men say what they want and fully express themselves. Women see all the red flags yet neglect them, think the man is joking and hope that they will change.
It is perfectly fine to want what you want and it is perfectly fine for him to want what he wants. Be respectful of his decision.
Remember
Your partner must want the relationship to account for something just as much as you do.
Some men are slower than others and that is okay but ensure that you know their plan for the relationship so you will have no surprises later.
The right relationship will happen naturally. No questions, no forcing and no convincing.
Resentment and discontentment can cause more harm for the relationship when two people are not on the same page. You will only hurt each other.
No matter how much time you have invested in a relationship, you should not be unhappy or be afraid to start over.
The power is yours to do what you want because you have a choice.
Respect his decision if he wants no growth and is no longer willing to create something with you. Either you decide to wait on him, leave to go find someone else or be single. Irrespective of this, focus on yourself, your personal growth and development and work on being an improved you.
Also, remember to fully analyze the situation and be objective before letting a good guy go because of your impatience.
Some men are immature, some are not ready and are unable to give you what you want because of their circumstances and others are intentionally not giving it to you.
Decide who is worth your time and your wait.
Reems Sonson
Ourtropicalliving.com
Come live and love island life
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Well said. Sad truth that many of us are faced with daily
Yes it is Cindy.
Again well articulated, sadly this is the common thing being heard now..women are ready whilst men are not..maybe one day men will step up to the plate or maybe even share their reasoning as to why it is that way with them.
Yes Kayla sadly it is. Some men tend to be ready now whilst others get ready much later on. Hopefully one day men will have an open discussion about why they do not want to settle down or choose to do so much later than women.
Nailed it!!! So true
😊😊😊 Bev.
The thing is how many women understand that,when they only look for assets and positions.
I do know think there is anything wrong with women looking for men with assets and position and who are already well established. We want to know that the family can be taken care of with ease. We compromise on so many things so I agree with women who go after what they want Alban. To me men who have assets and position should be in a greater position to be ready and want to settle down.