Life Prospects – Our Tropical Living

How to lose a man

Some say men stay if they want to and others say men stay if they are treated right. What are your thoughts?

Different men

Some men get women to do everything for them.

These women go above and beyond. They keep themselves behind and choose these men over everything and everyone.

How to lose a man

The best way to lose a man is to be clean, cook the best meals and care most about them.

Love them unconditionally and give them money occasionally to look good and take care of their needs.

Stay faithful and be drama free and caring.

Consider them in all that you do.

Cater to their needs and give them sex regularly and ensure that it is the best.

Give them their “me time” and always try your best to see things from their point of view.

Nurse them back to good health when they are sick and even help their relatives when the need arises.

Put your time and effort into them. Make plans and include them.

Show no interest in other men.

Ah ha

Sadly, some women do all these things in hopes of keeping a man and it chases him faster.

The man might say, “what do you do for me, you do nothing for me or I didn’t ask you to do all that.”

No shame

Women can be their best selves for men and these same men will move on with no remembrance of the goodness of that woman.

Some men do not know what love is. They take advantage of good women and think they will never leave.

The women must beg them for everything.

These same men, with ease and without being coerced, will do with someone else what the woman begged them for.

Practice patience but also practice when to let go…

Reems Sonson

Our Tropical Living

Come live and love island life

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Market dominance and taking advantage of the public

Word on the block is that there are many companies exploiting customers in Saint Lucia.

Customers receive poor customer service and little to no availability of products with no difference in charges.

Do you think there are inadequacies in some sectors in Saint Lucia? Do you feel like some companies are abusing their power to oppress the less fortunate?

Exploitation, monopoly, injustice?

Massy Stores

Groceries are expensive across the border, but Massy Stores has been accused of overpricing. Basic commodities needed for daily consumption are at an all-time high. Customers feel like they do not get value for their money. Even when the items are of poor quality, they are sold for the same price. Could it be that customers are paying an exorbitant amount for the brands of the products?

WASCO

Over the years, WASCO has tremendously improved the quality, supply and availability of water. The tap water used to be muddy and unfit for consumption after heavy rainfall. There are times where the water would have a foul odor and taste of “chlorine.” As of late, the water supply is sometimes shut off for too long. Overcharges and errors are made to customers’ accounts due to leaks that they are unaware of.

LUCELUC

LUCELUC too has improved its electrical rates over the years. Could it be that we have gotten more mindful of ways to conserve energy?

Flow and Digicel

Different companies, same effect? Sometimes the wireless broadband connection functions at its best. Poor internet connection and static during calls both on mobile and landline are common. Customers receive poor service at the same rates- no data connection, calls drop or do not go through, no audio during calls and blurred video calls. No compensation is given when the flaws are reported.

Invest Saint Lucia

Invest Saint Lucia makes lawfully owning Crown land more challenging than acquiring Crown land to squat. Property is leased with ease but problematic with intention to own. If you know someone working there, then things will run smoothly. “If you’re a “marlayway” then you’re stuck.” One set can successfully own Crown land with ease whilst the other may not even when they try to do things the right way.

Bus drivers

Some bus drivers are known for reckless driving. Passengers complain that some buses are messy and smelly. Buses are not serviced as they should and it sounds like they are falling apart. Some bus drivers act like they are on their leisure time, driving themselves and not at work and providing a service. I recently boarded a bus and saw the driver watching comedy on his phone. He kept watching his screen and glancing at the road. I cautioned him and his response was, “you can’t prevent me from doing what I’m doing.” It seemed like the driver was on his couch at home watching TV.

Customs and Excise

It is no secret that we sometimes pay double the amount to clear our imported items.

Let us hear from the companies, are you exploiting us?

Reems Sonson

Our Tropical Living

Come live and love island life

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Past struggles

People see you and judge and label you.

They think you have “style” although they do not know your story nor your current or past struggles.

They see you well dressed and well put together and think you have it all figured out.

They think you have money and the perfect life.

Back then

Growing up, I always believed things would get better.

I felt like I was living the wrong life and was born in the wrong era.

I saw my mom struggle alone in a house with three children since my dad was away.

She had to be both mommy and daddy.

I thought my mom had a perfect life because all she did was work whilst I had to go to school to learn.

Back then, I thought being an adult and working were better than going to school, silly me.

It is only as my mom died; I really internalized the struggles she faced.

I understood why she acted out and quarreled sometimes.

Deplorable

We were poor.

I was raised in an old house which looked like an abandoned structure.

We lived in deplorable conditions.

Our roof leaked when it rained. It was customary to use pans and containers to collect the dripping water.

The bed rocked and squeaked with every movement.

The cupboards were rundown and infested with roaches.

Poverty

I desperately wanted to join Girl Scout at primary school but my mom could not afford.

I watched Girl Scout gatherings so much that I knew all the road trip songs.

My mom gave me $1.50 daily for my break whilst at secondary school. My mouth used to be “long” because it was not enough.

It troubled me that the cake at the school was $2.00 but hey, I could not afford and had to be thankful.

My mom instilled the importance of going to school with home cooked meals instead of spending money on outside food.

I used to be upset I could not buy fried chicken and macaroni and cheese for lunch although I had my food.

Thank God Christine from my class brought me Dixie occasionally because her mom had a shop. I was thankful for the gesture.

We got by without a lot but we were a happy close knit family.

Encouragement

My mom encouraged her children to do well at school.

I woke up at 6 a.m. every Saturday to review my weekly notes whilst at secondary school.

My sister would always be surprised that I woke up early to study on a non-school day.

I would be studying with a tower of books on the table in our makeshift balcony.

Being raised in poverty and seeing the hardship my mom faced made me determined to excel in school.

My mom was my driving force and I did everything with her in mind- to make her proud and give her a better life so she could not work as hard.

I always told myself, “education was the way out for me because I had to remove my mom from that situation.”

Sophia Sonson

My mom was an independent, hardworking and trying mom.

I appreciate how much she did her best for her children.

She kept herself behind and did not depend on people to give her things for her children.

She did not leave us hungry. She made the most of the little food we had and always thanked God.

My mom refused to leave her children with her mother to go overseas to work when she got the opportunity.

She stated that life was hard everywhere but you have to make yourself wherever you are.

She constantly said that her children were her strength and she would not leave her trouble for anyone.

Regret

I undervalued my mom when she was alive.

There was so much I could have done to make her life better but I thought I had time.

Strive

I am proud of my upbringing.

I am not ashamed of where I come from. I proudly carry the teachings from my mom and use them in my daily life.

I know hardship and seeing people with things I could not have. I was not envious because I told myself my situation would improve.

All my life, I have made big sacrifices.

Education-wise: I went from losing sleep and weight, being stressed, taking loans, losing friends, missing out on family time and social activities and prolonging starting a family.

I have not seen the fruit of my academic achievements and hard work, but I am hopeful.

Eye opener

When you see people pushing themselves for better, it is because they know where they have been and where they come from.

Sometimes people are chasing themselves and their personal goals.

Do not think people are out to get you or catch what you have because sometimes, they do not have you in mind or see you as a threat.

You can turn your life around if you want. Stop blaming people for how your life turned out and where you are right now.

Catch up

Some of us made bad choices in our teenage years and it caught up with us.

Now, we hate the universe and blame everyone except ourselves.

Remember, when some of us were taking school for a joke, others were taking it seriously.

Some of us missed classes, partied, chilled with friends, formed relationships and had children.

Others did the same but also studied and burned the midnight oil.

Thinking cap

When you start achieving your goals and getting a paycheck, do not follow the crowd or listen to bad advice.

Be mindful about investing in a vehicle as soon as you start working.

A vehicle depreciates and is expensive to maintain. If you do not need but want a vehicle, stay without it.

Do not live it up and have a party life or constantly spoil yourself. Yes, you work hard but be wise.

Purchase property, join real estate, buy stocks, invest or save.

We are not perfect so we will do unwise things but catch yourself. Do not waste your hard-earned money.

Remember, you have come too far to go back to where you were.

Reems Sonson

Our Tropical Living

Come live and love island life

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My pet dog Brave

When Cenia posted she needed a home for a puppy, I found myself drawn to the idea of raising a puppy.

I headed to the city to get the puppy and he was friendly upon first contact. He looked so innocent. Cenia placed him in a box for our 30-minute journey home.

He made some funny sounds along the way. We stopped along the roadside and placed him out the box thinking he wanted to poop.

He sniffed around and seemed to have no problem. We placed him back in the box and headed home.

New environment

I was excited to be a “dog’s mom.” I named him Brave when we got home but called him Bravy Gravy and Brave cockolock.

Brave did not want to stay on his bed in the balcony on night one. He howled the entire night.

In the wee hours of the morning, I let him in and within five minutes, he pooped on the floor.

I thought, “you will stay outside from now on!”

New member of the family

Relatives called for an introduction. They were all eager to see Brave.

He felt like my little human and he really was the newest addition to the family.

My relatives and friends constantly asked about him and even video called to see him.

My cousin- Luvisker gave him two big teddy bears to play with and my friend- Hyginette got him plenty of toys.

Adorable

Brave was perfect in my eyes. He was so adorable.

I loved his fur and brown eyes. Sometimes, he stared me in the eyes.

I gazed at him all day and carried him around like a baby.

My relatives could not believe that I got him a toothbrush to brush his teeth.

I got the vet to give him all his shots and I was thrilled that he had a health card.

Attachment

I felt sad leaving him home and thought about him throughout the day when I was not around.

I could not wait to get home to him. Brave would race to meet me when he saw me approaching in the distance.

He would jump on me, bite my clothes and show me love.

Brave grew nicely. He remained short and fat. The vet called him a sausage dog.

Playful

Brave was gentle as a puppy. He did not play with any of his toys except for when I touched them.

However, he loved destroying my things instead. Brave would dig the dirt in the yard and dig the flowerpots and bite the flowers.

He chewed on the tablecloth in the balcony, threw and broke the ornaments on the table and then slept on the table.

He enjoyed damaging all my outdoor plants and chewing on my shoes.

Telling Brave no was telling him yes. He did not listen.

He made a cute face when he did something naughty and would watch me in the corner of his eyes.

He would pee himself whenever I shouted his name. Talk about feeling guilty!

No more pets please

I got a kitten and Brave made its life miserable.

The kitten left within three days and never returned because of Brave’s torture.

Bravy would watch television and bark when he heard a baby cry.

He howled at the sound of gunshots and watched the television oddly with any loud sound especially when he heard another dog bark.

Visitors

When my nieces or godson came over, Bravy wanted to stay on the couch with them.

You could see that my mom was not alive because Brave would not go on her couch or stay in her house had she been here.

Brave would chase the kids until they left. Brave was always excited to have visitors over.

He would bark at the visitors and playfully bite their feet until they left.

After a while, Brave was so troublesome that I had to keep him on the leash whenever someone came over.

He went from being a gentle to rough player.

He did not know how to act nor control himself. Too much excitement I would say!

My big boy

I watched Brave go through doghood and I was proud of him and how much he had turned into a cute, loving and friendly dog.

Brave and I developed a unique bond.

I loved him as my own so much so I would say, “if I love an animal like this far less for when I finally have my own child.”

Animals and humans

Humans do build inseparable bonds with animals. Animals are loving and caring and make good companions.

I am learning that pets are more like members of the family and should be treated as such.

Reems Sonson

Our Tropical Living

Come live and love island life

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10 reasons most Saint Lucians live paycheck to paycheck

Are you struggling to make ends meet? Do your monthly expenses exceed your monthly income? Do you save monthly? Are you financially prepared for future emergencies?

With the economic hardship, it is challenging to save and have money put away for unanticipated life events such as illness, accident, job loss or death.

For some of us, money comes in and goes right back out by the end of the month. It leaves just as it comes. Our monthly expenses are much more than our monthly income.

Save it or spend it

It seems like we have no savings and are only living to pay bills. We work hard and die as soon as we retire. We do not get to do the things we love nor enjoy our hard-earned money.

Life can be challenging and unpredictable. Sudden unemployment or illness can take all our savings and leave us to beg for food.

No doubt that food, utility, shelter and transportation are expensive. Now, meeting our basic needs can cause financial turmoil especially if our salary has not increased in proportion to the cost of living.

Basic or luxurious lifestyle

Some of us can afford a luxurious lifestyle and enjoy all the finer things in life. For others, luxurious lifestyle choices cause financial vulnerability which warrants living paycheck to paycheck.

Living paycheck to paycheck is stressful. It affects our mental health, causes depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. It impacts our relationships and undermines our sense of self-worth.

Reasons most Saint Lucians live paycheck to paycheck

1) High cost of living with little to no increase in salary

Inflation has caused economic struggles for many of us as the cost of living keeps increasing. Paychecks cannot stretch far enough to meet our basic needs.

Increases in bus fare, gasoline, groceries, utilities, childcare and school supplies cause us to struggle to afford our day-to-day lifestyle.

As a result, our disposable income finishes long before we get it. The price of everything goes up but our salaries remain the same.

2) Too much fete

Many Saint Lucians go out on a weekly basis. Saint Lucia’s laid back and festive environment allows for constant events. There is always a place or fete to go to.

It is easy to spend money on the weekly boat rides and fetes. We love entertainment and recently went to every cricket match- Caribbean Premier League (CPL).

Gender spending
Women inject money into purchasing a new outfit, getting hair and nails done and transportation to attend events. Money is also needed to purchase food and drinks.

Men on the other hand, most times are the ones giving women money to attend the fetes. Men, likewise, spend tons of money on getting drinks whilst on outings.

3) Too many women

Some men have two to three women and have to provide for all of them. Most times, the jabals are more demanding than the main woman. This equally affects men’s ability to save and have money readily available for emergencies.

Some women are expensive and request that men give them money or make some form of contribution all the time. There is a high price to pay with having multiple and demanding women.

4) Fine dining

Many of us Lucians love to treat ourselves to fine dining. We love take outs and going to restaurants to enjoy the food and ambience.

There is no problem with dining outdoors but it should be done in moderation to limit the hole we already have in our pocket.

5) Not preparing home cooked meals

A lot of us prefer to buy food instead of cooking a home-based nutritious meal. Homecooked meals are more cost effective plus we know exactly what we put in our system.

Fast food increases the risk of acquiring high blood pressure and cholesterol. This will be costly in the long run as we seek medical attention to manage those conditions.

6) Spending to please others

Some of us love to compete with our neighbors, family, friends and coworkers. We spend money we need to do other things just to keep up with our rivals.

We do impulsive buying to show off, look flashy and in style and to make others think we can afford.

We are envious and have a boastful mentality. We watch others luxurious lifestyle and crave it.

7) Gambling

Gambling by playing Brags for money, purchasing lotto or playing on the CAGE machines can lessen the amount of money available to do other things. Some of us gamble all our monies and struggle to reach our next paycheck.

8) Alcohol and drug abuse

Know someone who claims to have no money but frequents the rum shop, is a heavy drinker and is constantly drunk?

Sometimes, we randomly spend money on alcohol after a hard day’s work or spend on lots of cigarettes and illicit drugs.

9) Not budgeting for other expenses

We do not budget for birthday gifts, special occasions and house or car maintenance.

We should plan! Plan for the need to travel suddenly in case our relative die overseas, someone gets married or has a baby and requires our presence.

We need to plan for irregular expenses and things that may happen suddenly because things can happen and be beyond our control.

10) Failure to budget at all

We should make it a habit to have a monthly budget with the possible amount that will be spent on bills, groceries and other expenses.

Create a budget that is realistic. Let us avoid unnecessary spending.

Keep track of your every dollar so you can save a few more dollars.

Reems Sonson

Our Tropical Living

Come live and love island life

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How to prevent your car from being stolen in Saint Lucia

Remove all valuables from site and do not leave in car.

Keep doors locked both when in and out of vehicle.

Keep windows closed when away from vehicle.

At nights, park in well lit areas. Do not park near bushes!

Keep your driveway and yard well lit at nights.

Clear your yard to prevent thieves from hiding.

Do not keep a spare key inside the car or close by.

Remove the key from the ignition if you go on an errand.

Do not leave the vehicle running or unattended if you are not close by.

Install an audible alarm system or anti-theft device such as a steering wheel lock.

Install a tracking system to know the location of your vehicle.

Be careful and be on the lookout!

Reems Sonson

Our Tropical Living

Come live and love island life

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Men abused by women…women as aggressors

Have you ever been abused or attacked by a woman?

Women are constantly depicted as the gender most affected by violence. What about men? Are men being abused by women?

What is abuse?

Abuse is any action done to intentionally harm or injure another person. Abuse comes in many forms and can be physical, emotional, economic, verbal, sexual and psychological.

Men are victims too

Men too are victims of abuse.

Many may not know that men are victims of abuse because men do not like to verbalize their emotions nor how exactly people affect or treat them.

Men commonly go through domestic violence which is also known as domestic abuse.

Domestic abuse is not only physical violence. Having a controlling or manipulative partner affects men both psychologically, economically and emotionally.

Men suffer significant psychological and emotional abuse behind closed doors.

Men go through verbal abuse daily which makes them feel less of a person and reduces their self-worth and dignity.

Ever experienced these?

Abused men are afraid of their partners, walk on eggshells and are eager to please their partners. These men go along with everything their partner says and does and constantly defend their partners.

Some men check in with their partners frequently to report where they are when they go out, who they are with and what they are doing.

Their partner becomes aggressive if they do not call or message frequently or send pictures of their location.

Women as aggressors

Some women yell and scream at their partners or always throw a tantrum. These women exaggerate events, make threats and insult and demean men.

They socially isolate men, lie, cheat and withhold information from the men.

A common characteristic is to treat men like a child or a servant. Some women thrive on controlling all of men’s finances.

Some women act like men are not sensitive and say whatever they want to the men especially if the men do not cry, complain or show emotions.

Other women threaten to kill themselves or take the children and leave to make men feel bad.

Sometimes women play mind games, blame men, make them feel guilty and withhold affection and sex.

Not so innocent women

Women can punish men in non-physical ways and stalk them.

Some women intentionally abuse men because they know the men would not report the abuse and may feel embarrassed to discuss it.

Some women hide men’s personal belongings, hit, kick, bite, spit and throw things at them or destroy their possessions.

They use hurtful words to control men. These women strike men with objects or attack them when they sleep at nights especially if they believe that the men would not fight back.

Some women constantly monitor their partner’s social media, calls and texts and get angry and jealous when their partner speaks to women.

Women tend to make false allegations and tarnish men’s reputation. The common saying is, “I have him wrapped around my fingers.”

Gender stereotype

Gender stereotypes exist, people think men are more aggressive and physically dominant so cannot be abused.

Abused men do not see themselves as victims. There is stigma attached to men who report abuse.

The abuse on men can go unnoticed, can be severe and create long lasting psychological problems.

The abuse may make men become abusers in their next relationship, get numb and have no desire to commit.

Abuse sustained for a prolonged period may also cause trauma and health problems for men.

Men may feel alone, isolated and like they have no one to turn to. They may feel like no one will believe them so they rather remain silent about the abuse.

Some men want to leave the relationship but rather stay to work things out and do anything their partner wants because they love their partner.

Do you know a man in an abusive relationship? How will you help them get out?

Reems Sonson

Our Tropical Living

Come live and love island life

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In good times or bad…some people disappear when a crisis turns chronic

It is never easy when someone you love dies, falls ill, receives a scary health diagnosis or experiences a traumatic event.

Being there for that person might be one of the hardest things you have to do. However, at some point, one way or the other, that is something we all must face.

Food for thought

If you lost all your limbs today, who would be at your bedside showing you love and comfort? Who would take care of you when you get home? Who would cook for you and feed you? Who would clean you?

If you became paralyzed today after being involved in an accident, who would be holding your hand whilst at the hospital?

No matter who you are, tough times will come. Health issues, unanticipated life events and major crisis at some point get the best of us.

No matter how prepared or underprepared you are, you will have no control over the crisis.

Unpredictable

I have seen many people have a sudden frightening change in their lives. From being healthy to suddenly getting sick then taking their last breath.

The way we think things should be is not always what it ought to be.

Ever got news about someone and you were shocked, scared, uncertain, concerned or heartbroken? So many emotions at once. You worried about the person’s abrupt transformation and how it would affect them and their immediate family.

Now or forever

Some people will be with you only in good times. They are present for every party and celebration they are invited to.

Some people will show up for you during the bad times when you are at your lowest and will be there every single time. Most times, it is the people you least expect to show up who show up.

Some people check out days following your crisis despite knowing that you need assistance and continue to deal with the crisis.

Sadly, when someone dies, many people visit the relatives to express their sympathy and offer gifts. When that person was alive, they showed no support and acted like they did not exist.

People owe you nothing but out of courtesy and humanity you could show how much you care for someone and appreciate them.

Togetherness

Your world could crumble again and again and you may feel like you are drowning and wonder who will support you.

We all need someone to rely on. You can only get so far on your own. Being independent is important but at some point, we all will become dependent on someone for something.

The darkest times

Everybody has their own issues dealing with. As you deal with yours, you sometimes do not reach out to friends as much so they may disappear.

The affected family might be stressed, overwhelmed and preoccupied so might feel out of reach as they try to cope and make sense of what happened. Do not take it personal!

Do not feel rejected or like you are not included in decision making.

Sometimes people grow apart instead of growing closer during a crisis.

The longer your crisis, the less friends and family you have.

Sticking around in the long run

Be there for people when they need you. Be the listening ears or the shoulder to cry on.

Sending a few words of encouragement to someone going through a challenging time can make a difference.

Call if you are unable to visit regularly.

Do not say, “let me know if you need anything.” Not everyone is comfortable with asking for help if they need it or reaching out when help is offered.

Perform a lovely gesture. The simple things count and go a long way. Try to bring back some sense of normalcy. Bring the person something to eat, take them for a walk or drive, watch a movie or play a game with them or even do their chores.

It is a balance! Do not be overshadowing and overbearing. The person would need support but would eventually get tired of being a patient.

People do need people especially in times of need

When going through a crisis, you have to be a team and not focus solely on yourself nor see yourself as an individual unit trying to come to terms with the challenge. Everyone is affected!

In reality, no one knows if things will be okay but remain hopeful.

Do not be discouraged if the people you help push you away.

Whatever good you do for someone is done unto you. Do good and good will follow you.

Bad times can teach us about the people who are in our lives. Remember to invest in a few good friends!

Reems Sonson

Our Tropical Living

Come live and love island life

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Top things people regret before they die

As a registered nurse, I have had many encounters with patients who expressed their life’s regrets just before dying.

For some, it takes being on a hospital bed to realize how much time they wasted or how much of a good life they lived.

Some patients regretted living the life others planned for them instead of living on their own individual terms. Most patients felt like they had placed other’s happiness before theirs and were keen on pleasing people at their own expense.

Remaining stagnant because of their partner, staying in bad relationships, staying in a job they hated and living too much for their family were also common regrets.

Another alarming thing patients regretted was choosing to stay in the career set out by their parents or loved ones.

The patients with regrets typically said, “if I could go back in time, in my next life I would have or if the world could talk.”

Sadly, many patients die unhappy and with many regrets and unresolved issues.

Everything is risky

Some patients reported having lots of regrets from not making life changing decisions because of uncertainty and fear of the unknown.

They stated that they played it safe and remained in their comfort zones instead of taking risks.

They wished they had taken risks because later they realized that all decisions come with their own risk.

Most regrets

I wish I had worked less

Some patients admit that they hardly took vacation or a sick day. Some began working at a tender age until their last breath. They wished they had kept their work life in balance with the rest of their life especially their social life.

Some patients maintained that they invested most of their time into work that they lost their families and good friendships. Now, they wished they had taken a day to pause, chill and enjoy their life.

I wish I had traveled more

Some patients wished to have been more adventurous but lacked the desire when they could have. They felt like they would have ample time to travel.

Many patients expressed that they were waiting until retirement to begin their travels especially to go on a cruise.

Others grew their savings to reduce future financial burden and to care for themselves and their families in the event of illness or life changing event instead of traveling.

I wish I had enjoyed my money

It made some patients sad the funds they were leaving their families. Many were disappointed that they had spent a lifetime saving instead of enjoying their monies.

I wish I had created a family

Some career focused patients regretted not settling down and having children. Some explained that they tried to have children but very late in life and the result was unsatisfactory.

Some did not make time for their social life because they were too busy trying to climb the corporate ladder or expand on their business.

I wish I had not procrastinated

Some patients believed that they could have had a better life if they had not procrastinated for extended periods. They placed things for a later date and never got around to doing it.

Transition

It is peculiar how people die suddenly. In their sleep, whilst they eat or talk, on the toilet or just collapse and die.

Some people suffer for days before they die, some beg to die and others die peacefully.

When patients are transitioning into the afterlife, they reflect on the life they have lived. Some patients proudly await death and feel content with the decisions they have made, how they lived and where they are currently.

Some patients ask others for forgiveness, make amends with God, call a priest to pray with them and ask that their relatives are next to them as they transition.

Many people wish to have had more time but some accept the fact that death is inevitable so they share their stories and give advice.

What do you regret most about your life? If you were to die today, what fun thing would you do? What will you miss on earth?

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Reems Sonson

Our Tropical Living

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Top Things I wish I knew before I turned 30

17-year-old me could not wait to grow up, work for my own money, buy my own clothes, move out from my parent’s house and do whatever I wanted without explaining to anyone.

At that time, I thought my mom had it all figured out and was lucky because she did not have to go to school. Silly me!

Now that I am an adult, I do not understand what excited 17-year-old me so much that I longed to become an adult. I have had some experiences that shaped my life, so I understand a lot more about life than I did back then.

Here are some of the things I wish I knew in my 20s.

Tops Things I wish I knew back then

The importance of spending time with loved ones

Now that my mom is gone, there are so many things I wish I had said to her. I wish I spent more time with her and the people I love.

I became so busy with my job and going to school that I did not spend lots of time with my mom.

Sometimes we put things ahead of spending time with loved ones and see how much we miss them only when they are gone.

Now, I have gotten more grateful for the people who are there with me, show up for me and make a positive contribution to my life.

Life is short to waste time. Be thankful for everyone and everything.

Saving then would matter later

It is funny how we spoil ourselves when we start working. We treat ourselves well and give ourselves the best. Ever happened to you?

I wish I knew how much money I would need to allow me to enjoy the lifestyle I want. I love adventures, traveling, going to hotels and eating good food. I should have saved more money back then!

Journaling my every emotion

Journaling helps clear my mind, keeps me relaxed and has helped me identity the things I love.

Journaling reduces my frustration and helps me vent. I wish I had journaled more in my 20s to feel less stressed and so I could read it now to see how much I have grown.

Reading inspirational books would be a life changer

I have read many inspirational books since I turned 30 that I now have a new mindset. Had I read these books in my 20s, I would now be an expert.

Plus, I would have had enhanced my growth and development and improve on my confidence and coping skills.

Trade versus Trait

I thought that education was the way out for me. I believed in going to school to get a degree, a decent paying job and of course climb the hierarchy. That has not worked out as I envisioned.

I consumed myself in developing a career that I did not work on my talents. I wish I knew the importance of learning a trade back in my 20s so I could have been my own boss right now.

Be yourself

There is only on you. Be you wherever you go. Some people will not like you and they have no reason. Most times, they dislike you because you trouble the demon within them.

Forget what they say

I used to worry about what others thought about me. This is one of my greatest regrets! Do not live in fear of others or make yourself become a prisoner for someone.

Do not take what people say about you personal, they are miserable with themselves and their lives.

Positive affirmations and positive self-talk

I recently began using positive affirmations and I have learned to think positively about myself, embrace my flaws and own my identity.

Call me self-centered but, “I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am enough, I am successful, I am happy, I am wealthy, I am loved, I have peace of mind, I am important and I have optimum health and wellness!”

Be wary of comfort zones

Doing something new can be scary from uncertainty and fear of the unknown. I used to dislike change. I used to be so comfortable in my situations that I did not set goals nor timelines. Wish I had done these things differently!

Sometimes it feels easy to remain stagnant because of being in a comfort zone especially when in a stressful job and toxic relationship.Comfort zones could make you miss out on having a great life!

Things work out just as they should

I got worked up over basic things and situations I had no control over. In the end, everything happened for my good. No matter what, everything will be okay.

Creating a vision board is like a magnet

My vision board has given me exciting things to look out for! When I watch my vision board, I feel like I live and experience it although it has not happened. I just know that it will happen and I act as though it is real.

I wish I knew the Law of Attraction back then. I wish I had created a list of all the things I want to accomplish, all the places I want to visit and things I want to try before I leave this world.

Power of the subconscious mind

Ever thought something and it happened? I have realized that most of what has happened to me is as a result of my thoughts whether directly or indirectly. The subconscious mind helps make things a reality, it is not limiting and it focuses on the bigger picture.

Feed your mind with positivity daily and tell it what you want, need, seek, and desire. Believe!

I constantly remind myself that, “I love myself, I am one with the universe, I am confident, I am protected, I have in abundance, I am valuable and I am able!”

Forgiveness

I held on to grudges in my 20s. Boy, was I bitter. Forgiveness is necessary for your healing so practice it some more.

Pointers for 20s going on 30s

By the time you get to 30, you would have gained loads of experience, know what you like and dislike and have a general idea of what you want.

Do what makes you happy, if not, you will get stressed out, get sick, make everyone around you feel miserable, be unhappy and die prematurely.

There are consequences to every action so make sound decisions. Everything in life is a risk so know what is worth taking a risk for and what is worth making sacrifices for.

Do not compare yourself to anyone. We all have different time zones. Be happy for others and celebrate their milestones.

See the good in everything, remain calm in every situation and learn to control your emotions.

Hearing and saying “no” is okay.

Do not make your fears or what others think about you define you and do not give up on yourself nor your passion. Work on whatever idea you have.

The world is filled with unlimited opportunities. Believe in yourself!

The future is right now so do not think you have time later.

The education system can fail you so enhance your trade.

Listen to your intuition and let your inner voice be your guide.

Get a mentor to motivate, guide and support you in the right direction.

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Reems Sonson

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Just believe

Self confidence

Having high self-confidence could help you make more positive decisions and take massive action . Self-confidence helps you believe in yourself and could inspire others.

You should believe in yourself – your abilities, your skills, your passions, your goals and your aspirations.

Learn how to believe in yourself to have a better life and have endless possibilities no matter how difficult you may think it is to do.

Drowning yourself in doubt and fears can make you feel inadequate and darken your belief. However, when you believe in yourself, you feel like you are able to overcome anything and success is guaranteed.

In order for you to limit fear and self-doubt or even completely eradicate it, you must build your self-confidence and self-esteem.

Love yourself

Fall in love with yourself to believe in yourself, watch yourself in the mirror and tell yourself something positive and say you love yourself out loud.

Tell yourself that you are beautiful, you are the driver of your own success and believe it.

As you keep doing this daily, you realize that you really believe it and you begin to believe in yourself.

When challenges come, believe in yourself even more. Life is about ups and downs and highs and lows, things will not always be merry but you should find the merry out of all things.

You are able to overcome every challenge in your life if you believe. As you find the good in every situation, you believe in yourself and find your inner strength to overcome then you tend to embrace your journey more .

Leave your mistakes behind and move forward!

Ways to believe in yourself

Believing in yourself starts with believing in you

Believe that whatever you want is possible. Believe that you are capable of doing whatever you desire despite the odds. Examine your inner being and your limiting beliefs and empower yourself.

Ask yourself how can I believe in myself and have positive opinions about myself to reduce fear, anxiety and release negative emotions.

Positive affirmations

When you believe in yourself, you also respect yourself. Maintain positive thoughts about yourself and use positive words to overturn negative thoughts. Take care of yourself and constantly reassure yourself.

Sometimes you might feel a bit low on believing in yourself so you need to revisit why you need to believe in yourself. When you are feeling down and are doubting yourself listen to motivational videos to feel inspired.

Surround yourself with people who motivate you and those you could model to believe in yourself and gain success. Find ways to get inspired by ensuring that your environment is in line with what you believe.

It is okay for everyone to have individual beliefs but being around people who do not believe in your beliefs could jeopardize your beliefs.

Work on your strengths not your weaknesses

Focus on what you are good at, master it and be the best at it. Focus on the positive, your natural abilities and what you excel at and put effort into developing it.

You could focus on your weaknesses later or you could delegate your weaknesses to others instead of worrying about it. For example, you could be a great song writer but you are a terrible singer. You could hire someone to sing your songs, it is a win win!

As you shift your focus to developing your strengths and things you are already good at, you will feel more competent and confident and start to believe in yourself.

Focus on you even when you fail over and over at something that seems challenging to you yet easy to others so that it may not limit your belief in yourself.

Sometimes we say “I am bad at this” because we struggle with our belief in ourselves and focus on things we cannot do. Build your confidence and instead say I have a challenge with doing this but I will try, I will learn until I become better at it.

If you are not an all-rounder it is okay! Knowing your strengths will allow you to put more of your effort into areas you are already talented in. Grow the ways you are naturally talented in.

Ask others about your strengths because that can help you highlight things about yourself that you did not know. That could serve as a refresher so you could identify hidden skills about yourself that you did not remember or pay attention to.

Remember everyone has weaknesses — and strengths. Discover what you are already good at and work at becoming great.

Remember past successes

Past successes could be useful to show you that you are an overcomer and that you are more than able to get things done. When you feel discouraged focus on the positive to change your mindset. Remember moments where you were successful in the past if you need some motivation.

You could seek motivation from yourself to believe in yourself. Yesterday you ate less calories or you exercised, that is a milestone to celebrate. You could use that today to remind yourself that you are able to make a change and believe that you are able to continue that change.

Face your fears

Do not let your fears hold you back because experiencing fear is a normal part of life. Do not let it consume you. Identify your fears and develop an action plan on how to overcome them. A plan to do something to believe in yourself such as speaking more positively about yourself could go a long way.

The goals could be small because it will help boost your belief in yourself and add to big results. Create goals to face your fears because as you set goals and work to achieve them you develop a sense of purpose and accomplishment.

Do not give up on you

When I was going to school and working full time I told myself every morning whenever I got off the bed, “I can and I will.” I constantly had to remind myself to not give up on myself because it was challenging to juggle school and work at the same time.

Even as my mom passed away, every day I tell myself “I can and I will” as I try to come to terms with her loss. At first I began asking myself, “why me, why is it that it was my mom to die?” As time went by, I have grown and I started asking myself, “why not me, why not my mom, what makes it so special for me to be exempted from feeling loss and like my world has ended?”

Sometimes we just feel like we cannot do something but as we practice believing in ourselves, we tend to not give up. We will experience challenges in life but how we react and respond make a big difference in the outcome. Train yourself to believe in you.

Stay focus

Dig deep, search within and realign your focus on what you really want in life. How could you believe in yourself? Everything you want is within your reach, strengthen your belief in yourself and success is 100% possible for you.

Remember the level of success you see in your life is as a direct result of what you believe so believe in yourself. As you find ways to believe in yourself, things will become easier and your belief system in yourself will help you recognize all your success.

Where do you want to be in life? Are you living the life that you seek? Believe in you to set yourself free. Sometimes when I think about the life I want, I close my eyes and visualize it and it makes me smile. Most times I dream about it since I constantly visualize it throughout the day and it makes me feel happy because I know it is attainable.

Try my trick! Believe what you want is possible despite what others say and despite the odds. Visualize it by thinking about it, claiming it and even dreaming about it, act like you already have it and work on a plan to get it. Trust me, your belief will make the world open doors for you to achieve it.

Also, keep a daily or weekly journal of the reasons you believe in yourself and on days you doubt yourself revisit your writings. This could help condition your brain to believe in you even more.

I believe in you and your ability to share my content!

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Tribute to our loss

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Many of us have lost some of our close friends and family members. When death comes hitting on our door, it changes our outlook on life and sometimes makes us question why it happened to us. Death is inevitable and someday, it will hit your home if you have not experienced it. Death of a loved one is something you may expect and prepare for especially if your loved one is sick but it still hurts to say goodbye and let go.

Forever change

Life changes when you lose someone you love. You either become bitter, hate the world, be more appreciative or try to live life better. You go back to the past, wonder how you could have treated that person better and what you would do differently had they been here. As time goes by, the pain of the loss becomes less overwhelming and you learn to cope with the person’s absence.

There is no set time to overcome the emotions you have when you lose someone close to you. It may take days, months, years or never for someone to fully recover from a loss. Some people suppress their emotions, some try to forget, some act like the loss loved one is still there and others carry the burden every day.

Soon it will be two years since I lost my mom and I still feel scarred. I feel an emptiness deep within me and I go from happy to sad quickly. Some days I feel like there is a dark cloud over me because I miss my mom so much. Most days I cannot believe that she died so quickly but I have accepted that she is no longer with me physically. Having fond memories, watching her pictures and hearing stories about her keep me going. It is true that good people die first.

It is okay

It is okay to take as much time as you need to deal with a loss. It is okay to cry and remember the person. It is okay to do whatever you feel is best to get you back to a healthy state of mind. Ensure that you are not hurting yourself or anyone in the process as you try to rediscover life without your loved one.

2020-2021

Last year into this year have been terrible for many families. The Grim Reaper seems to be visiting more families than usual and taking mostly the young and good people. Now it is the norm to see “SIP, RIP or gone too soon” circulating on social media. It is more a matter of who is next than how comes.

Tribute

A special tribute to everyone who have passed away. To all the relatives who are still uncertain about whether a loved one did die and have been unable to do a proper burial, I sympathize with you.

To our deceased loved ones, you are gone but your spirit lives on. You are not forgotten and we would do anything we could to keep you here with us. We love you and we are grateful to have known you and spend time with you. Continue to rest well.

Celebrate us now and share our photos now and not when we are dead. Let us break tradition! Stop sharing photos of people who had horrific deaths. Empathize with the family. Stop sharing photos of people when they die especially if you did not know them, had no relation with them, were not speaking to them and disliked them. Be considerate.

Have you lost a loved one? What do you want to say to them?

Send this blog post to someone who is grieving and type SIP in the comments section.

Reems Sonson

Ourtropicalliving.com

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Are you happy?

If not, then! Let life unfold and embrace your life for what it is right now.

All up in our head

Ever been so much in your thoughts that you got depressed?

Sometimes we get caught up in our heads that we lose hope, compare ourselves to others, feel down and grumpy and even go into severe depression.

If you do get caught up in your head then refocus!

Past, present or future?

We need to focus on the present and enjoy what we have right now. Our life will change one way or the other and things will happen whether we want it to or not. The world is versatile and so is our life. Events will happen that are beyond our control so we need to adapt as they come. We will lose loved ones, close friends, meaningful relationships, jobs, money and so much more but we need to keep focus.

Happiness

I sometimes say that happiness comes from within. Do you think that it does?

How can we be truly happy if we are trapped by negative thoughts and emotions, unforgiveness, longing and feelings of inadequacy?

We need to pay attention to the little things in life to find our happiness. Perhaps happiness is a skill that we develop and work on to achieve it daily.

Finding our happiness

We need to practice saying the things we love about ourselves every day. Look into the mirror and adore ourselves and practice positive self-talk. We should say the things that we are thankful for and appreciate whatever we have right now.

It is okay to plan for the future, expect better and feel like we could be doing much more but we should focus on the present since it is happening right now. This will improve our peace of mind and mental state.

Let us work on keeping our thoughts clean and free from its own toxicity. We find happiness when we align our thoughts with our emotions and truly exhibit the positivity that we feel inside.

We are our own enemies and daily we fight our internal demons.

Creating our happiness

Sometimes we think that we may be happiest if we have our own home or a bigger house, better job, nicer children, better spouse, make more money and the list goes on. It is a never ending want! This only creates bitterness within us.

We need to realize that we have what we need right now and that we are working towards what we want. What we want might be challenging to attain right now but we can take small steps towards achieving it overtime.

We should not allow our wants to turn us against ourselves. Material things wear off and can be replaced but our mental health can cause sickness and death if not kept in check.

Let go and find meaning

Let go of the life we have planned, embrace the one that we have and we will eventually find the one that awaits we.

We need to find meaning and pleasure in the little and simple things such as a hug from someone we love and being in their presence. As we find meaning, we find feelings and the feelings develop into emotions which could improve our wellbeing and quality of life.

Trapped in the mind

Sometimes I find myself trapped in my thoughts that I isolate myself from everyone, go in a state of shock and almost depression. I would ask myself “is this really my life?” How comes I am not getting ahead, I feel stuck, unhappy and like I cannot get things my way.

I was busy creating the life I wanted and wished I had instead of living the one I already have. I was constantly dissatisfied and complained about everything and everyone and then I realized that the problem was within me. I wanted to accomplish too many things now that I was busy living in the future but there is no short cut to life and the future. Every thing good comes with patience and in due time.

The hardest yet best thing I could do was to admit to myself that I was toxic to myself and those around me because of my negative thoughts.

Self-reclaim

We need to take things one day at a time because the day is not ours and is not guaranteed to end with us being in it. Life feels better when we realize that we have everything we ever needed but that the decisions we make now would only lead us to the life that we want.

We need to accept our “right now” to keep sane and not the fake reality that we create in our heads. Learn to be free daily, let go of what we cannot control but remember that we control our actions, thoughts and the meaning we give to events. Our reality is now!

Let us no longer be victim to our negative thoughts. The best thing about life is that we have the ability to make decisions to either enable or disable progress.

Live life meaningfully and imprint yourself wherever you go. Live a remarkable life!

Reems Sonson

Our Tropical Living

Come live and love island life

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Social media and mental health

Are you spending an exorbitant amount of time checking Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, Facebook or other social media platforms for updates and photos or to see whether you received new likes, comments and shares?

Have you posted to receive likes and comments and felt disappointed when you did not get the outcome that you expected?

Ever used social media to share your sad stories to get attention and emotional encouragement?

Social media use

Social media is the use of the internet to interact with people and to receive and share information. Social media has connected many long lost friends and helped people rekindle old love.

Social media continues to serve as a way for users to openly and freely express themselves. It is a platform for users to advertise themselves, their businesses, their ideas and also an avenue to seek financial and social assistance.

Social media could expose people to support groups that give a sense of belonging which sometimes is not attained offline. Additionally, social media could be used to stay abreast with new events and opportunities.

Social media could improve one’s mental health however depending on usage, could also harm it.

For the love of social media

Advancement in technology has made social media platforms more readily accessible. These advancements coupled with the engagement strategies used by the platforms have caused some users to become addicted. Some of us live for social media and use it to document every aspect of our life.

Some want everyone to know what is happening in their life. Some behave like if it was not posted it did not happen and are unable to spend a day without posting or going through their feed.

Texting and long conversations on a flip phone are now face time and social media surfs on a smartphone

Harms of social media

Social media could be image focused which causes unrealistic body image expectations and feelings of inadequacy for some users. This flares up anxiety and has a detrimental effect on the mental health of users, especially individuals who are already battling emotional and self-esteem issues.

Real or fake

Social media is a way for users to escape from reality.

People create fake and unrealistic images of themselves by editing their photos to appear more desirable based on societal standards of beauty.

The portrayal of a fake reality of one’s life could feed into another person’s mental state and affect their mental health, confidence and self-esteem especially if they are already emotionally vulnerable.

People are now altering their lives and environment to suit a social media façade to appear cool, more desirable and attractive.

Social media could give false sense of hope if people are naïve. It could subconsciously make people feel like something is wrong with them and that they should be living this fantasy.

It could increase the probability of comparing one’s life to that of others which not only breeds envy but self-disappointment as well.

This sometimes leads to people living beyond their means or resorting to cosmetic procedures in order to imitate a fake reality.

Know the positive and negative effects of social media

Are you becoming a target or making yourself a target?

Social media could increase the chances of someone becoming a target when others become envious of the lifestyle they portray. They may be subject to slander or even physical acts.

Obsession

Constantly refreshing feeds for likes, comments and shares make some people feel accepted and get some sort of gratification.

People are increasingly posting on social media for positive feedback and have become obsessed with getting followers, likes and shares.

People compare their likes and follows to that of others and may feel inadequate. Constantly feeling inadequate is a path to depression which if left unaddressed could result in suicide.

Use of social media for some is like a competition as people fight for likes and followers to feel good about themselves and to become a social influencer.

Obsession with social media and unhealthy use of social media platforms could affect one’s mental health especially if people are down, lonely and looking for comfort.

Procrastination

Imagine spending hours on social media, procrastinating and letting time wither away when you could do something constructive like furthering yourself mentally, learning a craft, exercising or working on a business plan.

Wake up

Remember that things are filtered on social media but not in real life. Most of what you see is fake so CONTROL your urges. Try to set limits on the time spent on social media.

Do not fall for everything you see or read on social media. Do not grow in love with the perfect reality others show because you do not know what happens behind closed doors. One of the most dangerous aspects of a social media reality is a false sense of HAPPINESS.

Know how social media is affecting you because it can either affect your mental health or improve your life.

Stay true to you

Use social media to improve your mental wellbeing by building networks, connecting with others and sharing stories for mutual support.

Do not lose yourself trying to become what you are not. Do not think that your content is not good enough because you did not get many likes or shares.

Be present

Have you seen a group of people together but everyone was chatting with someone else on their phone or scrolling through social media? Have you been part of a group and did that?

Have you disrupted a conversation with someone or paid less attention to what was being said just to check your social accounts?

Well stop it! Be nice! Do better! Live in the moment and be present with everyone around you and not through a filter.

Missing out?

Ever saw a photo on social media and felt envious and like you wish you could have experienced being in the photo?

Ever felt excluded when you were not invited to a social event and saw photos that your friends posted?

Let me know how social media has affected you or improved your life.

Thank you Samue for inspiring and assisting with this blog post!

Reems Sonson

Our Tropical Living

Come live and love island life

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Promotion denied

Ever wondered why certain persons you feel did not deserve a promotion actually got promoted?

Expectations versus reality

After a few years of working in an organization or after furthering your degree you expect a promotion, right? Doesn’t it seem fair?

Does that apply to most things in life?

Sometimes you do something with the hopes of achieving something greater but what you expect and deserve might not necessarily be what you get.

That is okay! It will work to benefit you.

Employee of the year

Sometimes you are the hardest worker, you do not call in sick, are hardly ever late, and do not take breaks. You accomplish all your tasks, show up whenever called, go above and beyond and under and over yet it is not enough for your employer.

That can make you question your work ethic and productivity. Do not question your work ethic because of what others say about you or when you receive much less than you deserve.

It is time to move on! The job is not the right fit for you. Do not think that it is the other way around as in, you are not the right fit for the job.

No promotion

If you are denied the promotion then so what! Will the world end? You might no longer be enthusiastic about work and lack motivation but be happy that you did not get promoted.

That does not mean that things will not work out for you. Too bad that the organization is going to miss out on a diligent worker like you.

Although you might feel inadequate, rejected and like things are not going good for you. Remember, success is built on pain, rejection, denial, fear, frustration and failure.

Let this “no promotion” opportunity open doors for the new opportunities that await you. Refocus, revamp, refuel, rewrite and redirect.

That closed door is supposed to remain closed. You might want to climb the ladder now but perhaps it is not yet time.

Let that rejection allow you to refocus on your gifts, goals, dreams, passion, aspirations and all the things that you love. Let your passion follow you! Let your pain lead you to your success because in our greatest pain lies our greatest success.

You are valuable

Sometimes people do not recognize your value until you leave.

So…why stay?

Why stay at a job that will replace you even before you die? Disrespect you? Underappreciate you? Devalue you? Emotionally, physically, psychologically, spiritually and socially destroy you?

Let go and release

Let go and become so overqualified that you get to select the job that you want.

Become so skillful that you use your talents to become the master of your happiness and opportunities. So skillful to do a job you love so much that it makes you feel like you will never work a day in your life.

Missed opportunities

Just may be if you did get that promotion then you would miss out on your success story, become overly comfortable and not listen to what whispers in your ears.

The promotion just might have gotten you wrapped up in work, give you added responsibilities and less time for yourself.

Beyond your control

Sometimes getting a promotion is nothing you have control over but you can control your attitude and mindset.

You have not been defeated, rejected or denied! You have become ALIVE!

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Reems Sonson

Our Tropical Living

Come live and love island life

Natural hair

Social media

I would constantly see Black girls in movies and music videos with straight, shiny and long natural hair.

It made me envy persons when I saw their “nice,” straight, thick and long hair. How I wished my hair could look the same.

One could argue that I watched too much movies as a child but I also saw these girls with “nice hair” in local commercials.

Would you image that a predominately Black country uses White persons or persons of a mixed race for advertisements? Well, this is the case!

Societal pressures

I was convinced that I too should have thick, long, shiny and straight hair because society called it “nice hair.”

Societal standards made it seem like I needed to look a certain way and be a certain way so that I could be accepted.

It is difficult to be you when all you see around you is something completely opposite.

Childhood

I grew up hearing I was pretty every day but deep down I felt insecure because of my hair type. As a child I hardly ever saw someone who looked like me in a movie, music video or local advertisement.

I would wonder why I had such hard, tangled, knotty, kinky, shrinking hair that would take me almost an hour to style on a daily basis.

Getting my hair styled was filled with me saying “ouch!” and hearing “keep your head straight!” The many times I thought I would sustain a broken neck from someone roughly adjusting my head when I was not being still.

I had to get rid of that hair!

I would complain about my hair to my cousin-Sherline every day. Her response was always the same, “Rema, all hair types are nice! Keep your hair moisturized! You just need to find the right product to better manage your hair!”

Racism, stereotype, stigma?

In Saint Lucia, persons are typically classified for their hair. You are either a “neg” “dogla” or “coolie” what we commonly know as “Black,” “Mixed” or “Indian” respectively.

Some men say that they prefer Indians or women with long “nice hair” whilst some women want a man with “nice hair” so that their children could have a higher probability of having “nice hair.”

I am pro preference but I tell you…there is racism everywhere and even amongst persons of the same culture, ethnicity and race.

Imagine that your hair type and even complexion can land you a job quicker depending on the preference of the person hiring. Do not talk about getting into a relationship. Hair type and complexion are major determinants.

Resentment then acceptance

I resented my hair! My mom encouraged me to stay natural when I told her I had a great desire to put relaxer. I was not having it so I went on for the “straight hair” journey.

As I started embracing and accepting myself, loving the woman I was becoming and living on my own terms I started realizing that I loved my hair and how I looked.

I felt like I no longer needed a mask, keep my hair relaxed or hide my hair with braids, wigs or weave. No I did not need to flat iron my natural hair either.

Hair struggles

Natural hair

I thought I hated combing but I really hated my hair.

Oh my…I hated “wash hair days!” The shrinkage after a wash is ridiculous. My hair would be very difficult to manipulate and my scalp would get sore from the tugging that accompanied trying to untangle my hair.

My hair is very dry and coarse so I would take up to eight hours to wash, dry, untangle and then style my hair.

Managing natural hair is a full time job! You have to be responsible, committed and throw in a lot of time.

Relaxed hair

My relaxed hair began thinning, breaking and my edges slowly disappeared. That was a plus for me because I decided to go back to my “natural roots.”

You still have to go to the salon or do your hair at home, get touch ups and maintain the relaxed hair.

No scratching of scalp before getting your hair relaxed, pain from sitting and letting the relaxer take its course and “well cook” through your scalp. I still remember getting burns on my scalp.

Relaxed hair is just as time consuming as natural hair but is just easier to style and manage.

Naturally you

Women it is okay to wear your natural hair proudly. It is okay if you do not wear mark up. It is okay to be NATURALLY YOU! Your hair is beautiful and you have “nice hair.”

Reems Sonson

Our Tropical Living

Come live and love island life

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Degree? Skill? Which is the way to success?

We live in a society where you get a job and everything rather based on your connections and who knows you. Some forget your education, your degree, your good grades, your qualifications, your experience and your skill set!

I grew up with my mom constantly telling me that I needed to take my school work serious, do my assignments and always excel academically. I listened and I became a book worm. I highly believed that education was the way out. Well, at least for me.

Be mindful

Advise to the upcoming generation and persons who are confused about what they should do about school.

Develop yourself, find your identify and your gift!

Focus on yourself, what you love, what you want to do and things that may become popular in the future. Highlight all the things that you are good at and one at a time try to improve on it.

You might just end up making a career from “that thing that you are good at” and find your success, your why and your calling. Let us call it “YOUR SKILL!”

The education system works for some persons! Whilst others are more technical so may not function as well in a classroom.

Of course, schooling is paramount for certain professions especially for doctors.

Skill

Your skill is the thing that you do exceptionally well with little to no resources, time or effort. It may come to you naturally and it can be strengthened with practice overtime.

If you do decide to go to school then use your education to enable and enhance your skill. Let your skill pave the way for you and your success.

School or old school

Some persons go to school, take loans and invest many years into getting a degree. They make many sacrifices, miss out on family events and on making fond memories.

When they are finally done with school, they are in debt and have “big” loans to pay. They job hunt but still find it difficult to get a job or are told that the industry is not hiring.

They do not get the money, time nor effort that they invested back. Some persons wind up working but being underpaid for their qualifications or get a job doing something different from their degree.

They become a slave to the system and spend a lifetime waiting to make the money spent at school.

Blue collar, white collar, new collar

Congratulations to those who have proven that the education system works and went up the ladder because of their qualifications.

To the persons who are still searching for a job that pays for their qualifications. Keep at it, do not give up and do not lose hope.

You have spent too much time, money and effort to give up now. Your time will come!

Employers

Stop asking for work experience! Persons need to get a job in order to have experience so give them a chance to get the experience!

If you had to choose one what would it be.

1)Spend a lifetime going to school to work for someone else or at a job you hate

2)Spend a lifetime being successful by using your talent and doing something you love

Reems Sonson

Ourtropicaliving.com

Come live and love island life

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