Category: A good woman

Are women dependent on men or are women dependent on relationships?

Is it a man’s duty to support a woman financially, emotionally and sexually?

Women’s independence

Some women seek relationships for comfort, attention and the presence of someone else that they can trust, make love to and who is there for them in times of need.

Women sometimes seek relationships for support, to create a family, have someone they can grow with, share their life experiences and overcome challenges. Yes, that too! There are times women seek relationships to avoid loneliness.

Saint Lucian women

In Saint Lucia, you hear tones of women express their independence. They explain that they have no need for a man and are better off by themselves.

Yet, they call a man for a ride, credit, groceries, to take them out, for money, materials to build their house and for each of their wants and needs.

Internal or external factors

Is it that some women depend on men because they were wired to do so or is it due to their upbringing? Perhaps nature versus nurture play a role.

Meeting sexual needs

Some women are fully dependent on themselves to satisfy all their needs. What about sex you might ask!

If a woman is a lesbian, she does not need a man to satisfy her sexual needs.

A woman can use her sex objects to fulfil her sexual desires although, it would not provide the same feelings or do the same job as a man.

What about children? We need that sperm! Luckily, women now undergo IVF treatment to have children.

New era

Women are no longer being stay at home moms but are now seeking careers. Women are making more money than men, going out to work and being the bread winner.

The glass ceiling although it exists, has been broken.

Women as bread winners

Do women act differently when they become the bread winner?

Common traditions and established gender roles might explain why it is a problem for women to be the bread winner.

Some women may become bossier as they feel more power since they earn more. These women may think of themselves as holding the pants in the family, being the sole decision maker and disregard everything the man says.

The man may feel like he is worthless and that his input is unwanted. Some women may not admit it, but they secretly wished the man earned more money.

Women may lose interest in their partner as they expect more and the financial tension would continue and lead to a breakup if not solved.

Sometimes these women would try to dictate how the money is spent and what the man does with the money. It is almost like they want to control the man and treat him as a child.

Some women want men well established and with higher earnings and social rankings.

Whilst it is true that these women do not rely on men, they want to feel like they can be taken care of too.

Women developing their own independence

Women should learn to support themselves financially, emotionally and sexually.

Some men do not randomly give women money as we all know. Some men have women beg for money whilst others give automatically and willingly.  

Money is power. Women do not need to ask men money every time they need sanitary napkins or personal items. Gain your freedom!

Masturbation?

Do you believe in masturbation?

Some of my friends explained that women should masturbate to know what they like, how they like it and to climax.

Women should not expect a man to meet all their sexual needs but should do it on their own.

Women should be confident in exploring themselves and telling their partners what turns them on to have a quicker and better orgasm.

Remember, a man should enable a woman but not be there to assist her every need. Women should care for themselves.

Thank you Hyginette for giving me the idea to write a blog post about, “women learning to find ways to satisfy themselves, so they don’t depend on men.”

Question remains, are women truly independent or are they dependent on men?

Reems Sonson

Our Tropical Living

Come live and love island life

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A granny like you

My sweet granny. We call her Naze, Nazile 

I am blessed to still have my grandmother in my life and doing all the things that she does for me.

My granny is not only strong, independent and self-reliant but she has been a hustler her entire adult life.

Sexiness

Backbone of the family

Naze is extremely helpful and has more energy than her grandkids. She is the support in the family and one of the most reliable people I know.

She is someone to count on whenever we need assistance and is always a call away. She continuously offers her support and tells us to call her anytime we need something. 

She is very concerned and wants to know that everything and everyone is okay. “What a good granny” like my dad typically says.

Naze is very kind-hearted and shares anything that she has. She is very generous with her time and presence.

Workaholic

She does not know how to sit and relax because she keeps active and constantly finds something to do.

She goes above and beyond to assist in whatever way she can. She willingly tries to find a way to help the best that she can.   

Pay her a visit and you will know! She ensures that she fixes visitors something to eat if she has not cooked. She will even give you something to go with as a token of appreciation for your visit.

Even at that age, she still babysits her grandkids. When she comes over to visit me, she washes the dishes, cleans the house and yard, cooks and even makes jam.

I do not have to ask her to do anything because she sees everything that needs to be done.

Sometimes she calls me to ask if I need help with anything. Imagine that my granny has more energy than me!

The only time Naze gets tired is whenever she sits, is at rest and watches television. Be sure to hear her snore or see her head bob in the middle of a conversation around these times.

My right hand

Where it all began

I have had a relatively close bond with Naze especially since she is the only granny I have known and given that she lives close to me.

From secondary school up until nursing school, she would give me $5.00 every Sunday and say, “that is for you to buy a burger when you go to school.”

When I began working, my granny and my mom would hand wash my uniforms and scrub my work shoes. They only stopped because I was adamant that I should take over and give them a break after many years.

My grandma is the best

She does not say “I love you” but it is seen in the things that she does. She has a lot of unconditional love that she does not know how to express.  

She loves almost instantly. Naze is quick to make friends and develops a liking for whoever we bring to her house.

Some of us might think that a granny is someone who should be at home relaxing and enjoying the time they have left but not this active granny of mine.  

Granny’s perfections  

Nothing compares to my granny’s cooking. She makes the best coconut cake, one pot “mapa” with coconut milk, bakes and cocoa tea and steamed vegetables.

Her vegetable rice, almost cheese less macaroni and cheese, paime, turnover, stew backs, guava jam and stew lamb neck are all classic delights.  

Blame the age

She says anything and does not care how it comes out. After going through life and being around for a while, she could not care less about what she says to others, her mouth has no censor!    

She stops everyone who passes on the road and holds them in a long conversation. During the long conversations, you will hear her singling out everyone in the person’s family and asking how each one is doing.

Faith for deliverance

Granny has been through so much and has kept a lot bottled up inside. She has lost many relatives and more recently her first out of four daughters, my mom- Sophia.

The sudden death of my mom damaged Naze, us all for that matter. We have accepted the death and are learning to cope with mom’s absence, but another dilemma is happening.

There are some people in the community provoking Naze and saying the most hideous things about her. Whilst others are either stealing or killing her produce. When will it end?

Forever young

The side of love

I saw a different side of Naze when she began taking care of her sick granddaughter and her son. I see extreme patience, selflessness, self-sacrifice, concern and love being displayed by Naze daily. She does not hesitate to help them with whatever they need.

It is customary for us to say that she is troublesome, but she is just as loving and caring. She has shaped all our lives in a big way and has helped us one way or the other.

It is safe to say on behalf of my relatives that we are who we are because of the role that Naze has played in our lives.

Granny’s long hands

I can still remember how “long” my mouth would be as a child because Naze took a bit from everybody’s snack. She would say, “bor mwen tac” to mean “give her some” and take whatever we had in our hand and eat from it. How upset I would be!

Reems Sonson

Our Tropical Living

Come live and love island life

How did you like my blog post? I would appreciate it if you left a comment.

What is or was your granny like?

If you would like to receive an update when I post something new, you could subscribe to my blog.

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Top qualities of a good woman

Many men have let go of good women to chase “not so good” women. What is a good woman one might ask, do good women even exist and how can they be found.

If you are looking for a life partner and a strong, lasting and stable relationship, it is important to know what qualities you desire in a woman.

A good woman is an investment.

Qualities of a good woman

Self-care

A good woman takes care of herself and her health. She does not let herself go and requires no one to be on her back so she can take better care of herself.

Responsible spender

A good woman has good personal finance. She has the ability to budget and save independently. She spends responsibly and invests wisely.

Independent

There is nothing wrong with seeking assistance from your partner but a good woman tries to make a living for herself.

She is able to accomplish her own task and tries to sustain herself. She is independent and self-reliant.

Ambitious

She knows her potential and worth. She pursues her own goals and works towards growth and success.

Honest

A good woman is honest and trustworthy, you can believe what she says, you take her word for it and you do not doubt what she says. She is authentic and remains genuine to who she is.

She remains consistent and does not transform into another person after she knows you for a while nor during difficulty, illness or financial troubles.

Easy to talk to

Being able to talk freely and openly are paramount in a relationship. A good woman has good communication skills, is expressive and easy to talk to.

She is intellectually challenging and can have deep meaningful conversations without arguments.

Apologies

A good woman understands when she is wrong, willingly admits her mistakes, apologies and make amends. She tries to solve issues, is forgiving and willing to move forward.

A good woman is beneficial to you

A good woman encourages you to make wise financial decisions. She does not put you in any debt nor leads you to bankruptcy. She does not rely on you solely unless you want her to. She does not dry your wallet, drain your bank account or put visible holes in your pocket.

Whilst it is true that we do not know if we will live to see now but that does not mean that we should not save for later. A good woman encourages you to save. She is able to help you turn savings into assets and not liabilities. She believes in investments for future success.

A  good woman encourages you to pursue all your goals. She is supportive, considerate and relieves the load off your shoulder instead of adding more. She gives you time and shows affection.

She celebrates your success, gives you your time to shine and does not make herself be the center of attention neither does she make everything be about her.

A good woman is a team player and displays the ability to compromise at times.

She gives you a listening ear without accusations or judgements and she acts like your shoulder to cry on. A good woman does not call you weak or soft when you show emotions.

The good woman in her

A good woman loves you for who you are and not what you can do for her. She loves you solely and not just what you bring to the table or the assets that you own.

She leaves you feeling better than before and she puts you at ease instead of having you feel like you are walking on egg shells. She makes you be the best version of yourself without you having to change who you are.

She is fun to be around and she has a good sense of humour. A good woman is caring and always there for you even when you are not in best health and are in diapers. You can count on her and she is reliable.

She is open to learning something new and pays attention to you.

She is resilient and able to help you get back on your feet. She is drama free and puts in effort. She is a trying woman and she makes an effort to keep you around even when the relationship romance has worn off.

A good woman shows dignity and respect to others. She is empowering and inspiring and continuously motivates you to do better and be better.

Non envious and decent

A good woman gives you freedom to have your own life and identity outside of the relationship. She does not get upset when you go on a boys night out.

She does not call you all the time when you are out, put tabs on you or accuse you of cheating when you return home. She does not count the times you go out so she can do the same.

A good woman does not smother you but gives you space willingly. She does not get upset when you take time to spend alone.

A good woman does not get upset or jealous at your female friends or female relatives. She does not expect you to cut all communication with them because they are females.

She does not give ultimatums but allows for mutual discussions and decisions. She is committed to the relationship, she is non offensive and does not get defensive when constructive criticism is given.

She keeps her environment clean and she is decent.

A good woman is not hard to find. Pay attention to her qualities and follow your heart! Looks wear out but a good personality does not!

Read more like this

A good man

Reems Sonson

Our Tropical Living

Come live and love island life

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This is not a paid or sponsored blog post. What is considered good and acceptable to one might vary to the other. What I define as a good woman might not be what you define as a good woman. Do what works for you!