Cut or push
Women who had caesarian deliveries are seen to have taken the easy way out and considered luckier compared to those who had vaginal deliveries.
Some women who had vaginal deliveries tell you upfront that you are not a true woman, did not go through a true labor and did not suffer when you have a cs.
I was amazed at the weird remarks some women made when they asked how my delivery went and I informed them that I had a c-section…
Looks like a cs
Weeks leading up to my due date, my OB/GYN said it looked like I would have a cs but I could have a trial of labour since I was a first-time mom.
Of course, I wanted to experience labour and have a vaginal delivery. I did not want to have a cs but I had a pendulous abdomen…
Cs confirmed
I was 6 cm dilated after less than 10 hours of induction. I felt ready to push but became completely drained by the time I was wheeled to the labour room. My baby’s head was still high so the on-call OB/GYN said I would have a cs.
I was relieved yet disappointed in a sense. I did not think I would have the strength to push either and I honestly just wanted the baby to be out.
Cs guilt
The day after the cs, I felt like my body failed me and I failed myself for not being able to push.
I felt guilty. I had already spoken to my partner about him getting me a push present (result of watching too much TV), little did I know that I would be going under the knife.
Blue drapes
I was concerned about what was happening behind the blue curtain, a barrier where I did not get to see my baby come out nor get to hold him right away. It gave me mixed emotions.
During the cs, I felt like someone was drilling my insides and painlessly removing my organs. I tried to move my legs but of course they were numb.
At last
When the OB/GYN was pulling the baby out, she said wow, we should give him a backpack to go to primary school. We figured he was a big baby.
The boy was big and long, I would need vaginal repair if I had pushed, so it was a good thing I did not. I heard a faint cry and saw my partner smile. At last, the big boy was out.
Missed opportunity
My partner and I missed out on the opportunity of seeing our baby’s head crown and come out. My partner did not get to cut the umbilical cord and hold the baby one time.
We did not get to see the “grease” on our baby or smell how musty he was. Baby and I both made it out alive and well despite, so we are thankful.
Scars of miracle
My scar is my story, a constant reminder of what I endured, it speaks volumes of our survival and how I brought life into this world.
I thank God for the scar and the gift He has granted us. It was worth it!
Say nothing at all
Saying cs mom’s get the easy way out should not even be a thing.
To all cs moms
No matter how you delivered, just be thankful you got the experience because there are many women longing to carry their own offspring and are struggling or just cannot.
Embrace and own your scar!
Thank you for reading. Share and leave a comment if you desire.
Look out for my next blog posts as I share my cs experience and being pregnant with a pendulous abdomen.
Reems Sonson
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