A good man

What constitutes “a good man?” What is your idea of “a good man?”

Some women find love and a good man effortlessly on first attempt at a relationship and others search tirelessly and endlessly.

Yes, it is okay to have specific qualities and traits to identify when looking for a good man. Know what you want and ensure you are able to identify it when you find it.

No, a good man is not hard to find. Follow your heart and it will lead you to love and a good man.

Missed opportunities

Some women busy themselves with searching for men who can provide, give them money, gift them material things, make for good baby daddies and give them cute babies.

They do not see men for who they are but what they can provide. These women forget about their own peace of mind, happiness, stability, security, guidance, love and having a loving home.

Other women search for so called “red flags” and ignore all the “right flags” so miss out on seeing the good in a good man.

Remember to be mindful on your search so you do not miss out on being with a good man.

Attraction and appearances

Many women have lost the opportunity of being with a good man because they were not attracted to the man and sensed no chemistry. These women did not take the opportunity to know the man better so instead explored other options.

Some women fall in love with men because of their physical appearance and not because of their personality. These women go based on looks and not actions so reject the idea of being with a man who is not as physically attractive in their eyes.

Men kept in the friends zone! A man may display the qualities that a woman wants in a man but she may not like him on that level so sees him as a friend. When the man finally gets into a relationship and settles down, the woman might grow love towards the man and regret not dating him.

Lessons from my heart

Your heart decides who it falls in love with. Falling in love with a man’s personality forms a deeper level of connection.

A good man

Of course, a good man is polite, faithful, kind and acts like a gentleman.

A good man is able to have direct one on one communication. No dodging of questions, not answering or leaving you questioning his intention and honesty. He tells the truth and not what you want to hear.

He is self-confident and not deterred into pressure from doing what he does not believe in. A good man has a positive attitude and sees the good in things.

He keeps his word and does what he says he will. He is dependable and reliable. You know you can count on him and he will always be there for you because he has your back.

A team!

It is a team effort and there is togetherness and equality. There is no level of dominance unless it is agreed upon by both parties.

A good man is someone who spends time with you, makes time for you and makes you feel like he is never too busy for you. He rather hang out with you on most days than chill with his friends.

He has your best interest and considers you in whatever he does. He is helpful and understands when you are too tired to have sex, cook or do chores.

A good man knows when something is wrong with you without you telling him because he pays attention to you and your every details.

Qualities to search for in a good man

A good man supports and encourages you no matter how absurd your ideas might sound. He will cheer you on and be your biggest fan.

He inspires you to be better by his way of life and thinking. His positive nature rubs off on you.

He is emotionally present and responsive when you speak, does not look at his phone or watch nor cuts you off and shuts you up. He is attentive and interested in what you have to say.

A good man listens when you speak so much so that he surprises you later on based on what you mentioned, said you would get or what you wanted. Yes, he listens and remembers too!

A good man is forgiving, has a good sense of humour and able to joke around.

He does not reproach, becomes insulting and abusive neither does he crosses the line. He keeps it drama free. He is respectful and able to dissipate misunderstandings amicably.

A good man takes ownership for his actions, makes no excuses and does not cast blame on others. He accepts when he is wrong, apologizes and tries to fix things.

The little things

A good man does the little things like help wash the dishes or hang the clothes. He is caring enough to get something you forgot from the grocery store, purchase something you love and surprises you with it or once in a while prepares you lunch.

A good man sticks by your side in all walks of life. He is committed to you when you are happy, sad, emotional, hurt, experiencing pain and trauma and when you are at your lowest point. He is there both on the sunny and stormy days.

He brings out the best in you. He shows affection, love and appreciation. A good man makes you feel and know that you are loved. You do not question whether he loves you because it shows.

He accepts you for who you are and loves every part of you. You are enough for him, he does not judge and neither is he constantly trying to upgrade you. He does not want to change you to suit what he wants.

A good man is non-envious and not selfish. He is okay with you having male friends and co-workers.

He is easy to talk to and is assertive. He openly tells you what he wants and what actions make him feel loved and cared about.

A good man does not need to prove himself as a good man because he is.

Dedicated to Sam. Thank you for being a good man.

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Reems Sonson

Our Tropical Living

Come live and love island life

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This is not a paid or sponsored blog post. All relationships are different and we all have varying characteristics and traits. What is considered good and acceptable to one might vary to the other. What I define as a good man might not be what you define as a good man. Do what works for you!